i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
