New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
