dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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