are you still at the devil's house?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
