please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
this just has baby written all over it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
