He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
