I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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