I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
