There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So here I am, sexting at work.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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