she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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