I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
