Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
