I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
