gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
