i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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