She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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