im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
