I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
