1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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