There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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