remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
