Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
