I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
