i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize