Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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