We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
