I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
