At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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