just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
