You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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