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I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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