you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
