I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
