It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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