some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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