okay pat passed out under dana's car
operation harelip BJ is a go
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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