So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
