she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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