I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
