Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
