last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
