i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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