in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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