Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So much rum. So many feels.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
