after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
