i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize