were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
