Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
