Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
