Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
