party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
