I'm going to jail i love you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
