Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
NoShamevember. You game?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize