after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
