Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize