I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
