someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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