It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I need moral support for this bender
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
