I just saw a hot homeless man
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
