So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
