well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
