When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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