Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
