I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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