why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
