They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
