hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
