I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
