The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
