butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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