My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
