Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
