Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
