Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize