you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
